I refused to be a Domestic Goddess unknowingly for years. I wanted - to be an actress, a mime, a painter, a writer - all of them!!!
fast forward. I met my husband-to-be. When we married, I dreamt of having it all - love, children, my artistic career. I rode on the rocky, but interesting coat-tails of my husband, a man trained as a composer. Did I forget to say a "struggling one"? There were many more problems....fast forward again...
I never wanted to be a "Domestic Goddess" (really perfect at the housework), because I always had to work to earn money to pay the bills and found out real quick that I had two jobs, one outside of the home and the other - cooking, dishes, cleaning. My ex accepted some responsibility, but mostly believed it was "my job". So much for the woman's movement and equal rights. I was the main breadwinner as he stayed at home and took care of the kids. It became a major problem. I wanted to be with them. I wanted him to make money. My dream was not coming true, but I accepted to wait until he was successful. Many people around us called him a "genius". So the payback was the thought that I was married to a "genius".
I now know that I refused to hone my skills in housekeeping - this was my rebellion against the life I was living. In my head and heart I would not give up on my dream - I would not become obsessive/compulsive about the cleaning and have no time to draw or write or act.
Professionally - I didn't get my art out. I became a teacher and taught creative writing and did my own, drew posters, put on shows...it was not out of my system. I channeled into my work with my high school students.
Of course, we all have to survive financially. I was right to be practical. I had no benefactor. Yet, I know I never let go of my dreams. I know that the root of all my depressions were about not being able to let go of being an actress. Money was a stumbling block. I now know I need to pay a Domesic Goddess (cleaning lady). Gone is the guilt that I need to learn to clean better and keep the house better. I want, however, to connect to the power of the "Goddess Within".
I looked within the Jewish Tradition from which I come - meditation - to look for the feminine principle which I know exists in Shabbot (The Jewish Sabbath). On shabbot the feminine is welcomed. There is a song about the Sabbath - his Lecha Dodi a hymn by Rabbi Shlomo HaLevi Alkabetz
Kabbalat Shabbat is a time of peace and reflection.
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