Sunday, January 6, 2008

Made a Commitment

Some people, including myself in the past, might be afraid of making a commitment. This is one commitment I am making to myself - to write every day. It hasn't been so hard so far, because i actually love to write.

I am also blogging as much as possible. In some ways it is easier. Definitely easier to edit on a computer than on a piece of paper in a journal in ink. However, I don't always enjoy writing by typing. I feel distant from the writing. The light of the computer can be annoying. I very often prefer the paper and feel of the journal book and using a pen and seeing my handwriting - scribbles.

Making a commitment to oneself is a way of being compassionate and loving. An author named Heather Sellers states in her book "Chapter after Chapter" that a writer can stay for years in the idea stage, but that if it is not written down it is not becoming a book-- it stays an idea.

I am ready to move from so many ideas I have lived with to the real. The Sculpture Project is becoming real...I am writing about it...talking to others about it....investigating places to build it and it is becoming....

I have realized that while creating a multi-discipline piece on Depression, I feel I must counter-balance with a piece on Joy. the same time I am working on the Depression piece .... I am writing a fable that is delightful to create. The depression piece catapults me back to some dark memories and I do fear that there might be some roots that haven't been cut and I DO NOT WANT TO EXPERIENCE ANOTHER DEPRESSION WHILE I WRITE AND CREATE IT. It is still experimental or an experiment that i believe one can become aware ... (I can become aware) of how I entered and exited some deep, dark holes of depression. I want to take the journey and create this ... but it also is a little risky. Negativity is a powerful force and I do not forsee, nor do I want to know what events will happen in the near future.

I know now that I have limits like everyone and too much is too much. However, am I aware or will I pull back and know when it is a "seed" that could begin a negative spiral. I believe so. I am not certain. Therefore, I am taking a risk. I think the risk is worth taking. I will learn a great deal and possibly help others....My Goal .

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