I Wrote

In order to create, I need to be alone. However, I can be alone with many people present . Or, I can be alone in my home with silence. Sometimes I need to hear music and not the silence. Sometimes, I can not be alone...I feel the need to be with others.

The other day, I was distraught. I was emotionally exhausted and none of the friends I call when I need to talk were available. I knew if I stayed in my home I would feel worse. So, I took myself to the Bliss Cafe. Really. That is the name of it. It is situated in front of the LIRR, the Manhattan side.

I sat sipping a coffee and watched as others who are not off for the summer rushed. They bought their breakfasts timed to the catching of their trains. I got energy from their activity and could relax - no time element for me. I was structuring my day.

This little cafe has a blackboard with the menu written beautifully on it in chalk. Comfy chairs and round tables and lots of books and magazines were waiting to be read. You could probably sit there all day sipping a drink, reading and writing.

Instead of looking at my home in limbo with anxiety about life and bills, I watched others. I felt less alone...I was with them, but not in their frantic movements. I was in my mind, calming down because of their existence.

I let go of the tension. I wrote.


"Anxiety"
Lyrics and Music by Black Eyed Peas

I feel like I wanna smack somebody
Turn around and bitch slap somebody
But I ain't goin' out bro (no, no, no)
I ain't givin' into it (no, no, no)
Anxieties bash my mind in
Terrorizing my soul like Bin Laden
But I ain't fallin' down bro (no, no, no)
I won't lose control bro (no, no, no)
Shackle and chained
My soul feels stained
I can't explain got an itch on my brain
Lately my whole aim is to maintain
And regain control of my mainframe
My bloods boiling its beatin' out propane
My train of thoughts more like a runaway train
I'm in a fast car drivin' in a fast lane
In the rain and I'm might just hydroplane
I don't fear none of my enemies
And I don't fear bullets from Uzi's
I've been dealing with something thats worse than these
That'll make you fall to your knees and thats the
The anxiety the sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety
The sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoia's brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety
My head keeps running away my brother
The only thing making me stay my brother
But I won't give into it bro (no, no, no)
Gotta get myself back now God,
I can't let my mind be
Tell my enemy is my own
Gots to find my inner wealth
Gots to hold up my thoughts
I can't get caught (no, no, no)
I can't give into it now (no, no, no)
Emotions are trapped set on lock
Got my brain stuck goin through the motions
Only I know what's up
I'm filled up with pain
Tryin' to gain my sanity
Everywhere I turn its a dead end in front of me
With nowhere to go gotta shake this anxiety
Got me feelin' strange paranoia took over me
And its weighin' me down
And I can't run any longer, yo
Knees to the ground
I don't fear none of my enemies
And I don't fear bullets from Uzi's
I've been dealing with something thats worse than these
That'll make you fall to your knees and thats the
The anxiety the sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoia's brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety
The sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety