Funny how words can create fear. I don't particularly like the words in my title..."structure....discipline....edit". They sound tiring, boring and too much work!
Yet...I know I need them desperately. I must grow myself up.
Tonight I realized that it is definitely not enough to be creative. Who cares if you never get it out there! There??? So others can read it .... see it.... hear it! Who am I kidding? I am scared shitless to be scrutinized and yet...part of me says "I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks."
What a joke. Of course I do care. I want to be understood and appreciated and make people think and feel and laugh and cry. What I really mean is in spite of the people who won't get what I create and who will criticize it....it's about time to structure myself, discipline myself and edit so I can complete two major projects I have started. It is time to GET ORGANIZED!!! To be structured, disciplined and edit my work.
I lived too long with the false idea that an artist doesn't need a public. This is arrogant ignorance and not reality, but fantasy.
I make a pact with myself to live in reality and set aside time each day to work on these two projects.
Thank you to those who have helped me to see my blindspot.