Coping

Coping. This word doesn't mean you aren't dealing with difficulties. It means to me that action is being taken. One person will deal differently than another.

Coping mechanisms are necessary in this life. I used to be a quiet coper. I was raised to be polite; not to bother others with my troubles. As a young girl I tried so hard to be "GOOD". This was my family role. To the extent that in order not to bother mom and dad, I learned to throw up in the toilet when I was sick and not wake mom and dad. I'd tell them in the morning.
My reward was being praised for being "such a good girl!!!"

We all have our past history that shapes our ways to cope in this world. I learned that I was overdoing it. I learned that not asking for help and putting others needs before my own too much was NOT HEALTHY!!!

Coping means knowing what one needs. Noone knows better than we ourselves what it is that we need if we take the time to question. It is crucial to ask..."What do I want?" and "What do I need?"

I know it is on a high level spiritually to care about others needs and of course, like our children, their needs certainly. However, even if others want to help how can another always know best what another adult needs? And...we must be independent or rather inter-dependent.

Enough rest, good food, shelter -- these basics we all need. Self-love, love from others and it varies on many other wants... Knowing oneself is a step towards fulfilling one's needs.