Monday, September 6, 2010

Going Deeper Within versus Going Lighter Without

Alone you can go deeper within yourself. You can reflect. You can discover your demons. You can find peace.

With others you can lighten up. You can stop focusing on only your perspective. You can experience joy with another. You can experience frustration because the other does not "get you."

When suffering from severe depressions, I could not take in the others' perspective. I was somehow "stuck" and could not get out of myself.

I am very social. When I spend my time going out I get lighter and lighter and my "self" disappears or my "center" seems to get "off center." However, when the connection with others is a collaboration in which I exist and the other exists, I am in balance and feel so alive.

Nature can be my other. It is always a danger to fall into a negative frame of mind when I am alone too much or even sometimes for a short while if I stay in my home.

As I re-read what I've written it sounds so abstract. I am not creating visuals. I am not stating names and drawing pictures with my words. I am delving inward.

I saw the ocean. It's crashing deep blue current and white foamy waves upon the black rocks soothed me. I want to see her again. She teaches me to let go. I hold onto the present and fear the past mistakes and future pains. The ocean is constantly there like the breath going in and out. She assures me when I come again she will greet me.

1 comment:

Wanderer62 said...

Dear Nancy,

Thanks for leaving a great comment on my blog. I look forward to getting some snail mail from you. Writing the old fashioned way will be refreshing for a change.

I marvel at your ability to be very social because I am mostly a recluse, due in part, I'm sure, to my illness. But today I wrote to three people I care about and I feel as if a burden has been lifted. What a joy to have people respond to my blog (two other friends wrote to me privately). You and they have given me much needed guidance. It's all about balancing the inner with the outer. Why do I forget this? Because I spend so much time alone. And you too, coming from the other social direction forget this too. So set a date with yourself to be alone for a certain amount of time each week and I promise that I will set aside some time each week to communicate and be with others too. We really are yin and yang and all through that comes shining our Buddha Nature which is why we complement each other.

Stay well my friend,

Kate