Friday, July 30, 2010

Freedom, What is It?

I've got a touch of the feeling of breathing freely, freedom of movement also has always been important to me. My mom has always been an obsessive/compulsive cleaner and growing up with that atmosphere caused me to rebel. I am not very domesticated. I like order, but too much creeps me out. I have a cleaning person come to my home once in a blue moon and I enjoy that there is order and cleanliness and then...a couple days later, disorder reigns again.

I have analyzed this quirk in my personality and find that what DOES work for me is choosing places where "THINGS BELONG" so I can find them when I am living my associative thinking existence. I can easily fall into emergency mode and exhaust myself when I can't find, for reading glasses. So, now I place them above the computer in their sky blue case and I feel content when I see them there.

I have an unconditional affection for people who help me create structure (NOT impose it though) which I sorely need and vehemently and often resist. Free floating is my natural way of being, but those grounded peeps help keep me centered.

In playing/working on Elation - I am disciplining myself at times to "go thru" the difficult moments and to NOT feel controlled by decision-making. Meesh and I are air and water I think we make bubbles together. I don't want anyone to burst the bubbles--just gently hold them on the bubble wand while we decide where and how to proceed.

The top pic I posted is a cane I used while recovering from the mini-stroke. I wanted to celebrate my recovery and that I was not disabled, thus the idea for the candy cane design. Scroll down and read about the trees and see a 2nd pic of Me and My IV Tree.

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